Download E-books The Golden Calf PDF

By Ilya Ilf

Ostap Bender, one in every of Russia's such a lot loved literary characters and an unrelenting con guy, is attempting to rip-off a scammer in The Golden Calf and swindle adequate so as to circulation to Rio. one of many funniest, and such a lot mockingly slicing, books ever released within the Soviet Union.

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Download E-books Tik-Tok PDF

By John Sladek

Whatever has long past very heavily flawed with Tik-Tok's "asimov circuits." they need to retain him at the immediately and slender, following Asimov's first legislations of robotics: A robotic shall now not injure a man or woman, or via inactivity permit a individual to return to hurt. yet, that's now not what's occurring. even though everything appears to be like fantastic from the outside, and Tik-Tok continues the outward visual appeal of a mild-mannered robotic, his schedule is murderously various. And, it's not only due to his creative trends and sympathy for the robotic rights flow, both. This witty chronicle of 1 irregular machine-man, and his dealings with an collection of deranged and maniacal people, really showcases the satirical genius of John Sladek.

From the Uploader: Retail-ish EPUB, has TOC & bankruptcy links

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Download E-books Old Masters: A Comedy (Phoenix Fiction) PDF

By Thomas Bernhard, Ewald Osers

In this exuberantly satirical novel, the teach Atzbacher has been
summoned by way of his buddy Reger to satisfy him in a Viennese museum. whereas
Reger gazes at a Tintoretto portrait, Atzbacher—who fears Reger's
plans to kill himself—gives us a portrait of the musicologist: his
wisdom, his devotion to his spouse, and his love-hate dating with
art. With traditionally acerbic wit, Bernhard exposes the
pretensions and aspirations of humanity in a unique right now pessimistic
and surprisingly exhilarating.

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Download E-books Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Kitty) PDF

By Jeremy Greenberg

The cat's solution to Sorry I Pooped on your Shoe, Sorry I Barfed in your Bed is a hilarious selection of full-color photographs and letters of excuses and recommendations from cats to the folk who love them—no topic what undesirable factor they’ve done!

Inside Sorry I Barfed in your Bed, author and comic Jeremy Greenberg provides a suite of laugh-out-loud letters and pictures that provide a cat's eye view on universal pussycat vs. human cohabitation conundrums. it is the ideal reward for loopy cat fanatics and an individual who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into cat—and human—nature, including:

Your cat sits in your computer not only for heat or realization, yet to avoid you from interacting with the surface international. finally, isn’t the most cause to have a cat so that you don’t need to waste time constructing common human relationships?

If you spent a 3rd of your lifestyles licking your self, you too might sometimes disregard to stay your tongue again on your face.

Eating grass has medicinal reasons, and so much cats think grass can be legalized.

The cat feels undesirable approximately barfing in your bed…because now it needs to get to as much as move sleep in your fresh laundry in its place.

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Download E-books Ass Goblins of Auschwitz PDF

By Cameron Pierce

It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can merely be imagined by way of Bizarro writer Cameron Pierce.

In a land the place black snow falls within the form of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish legal camp referred to as Auschwitz. it truly is run by way of a fascist, flatulent race of extraterrestrial beings known as the Ass Goblins, who go back and forth in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct teenagers from the neighboring international of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined dual brothers pressured to suffer the sadistic tortures of those ass-shaped monsters. to outlive, they need to devour child pores and skin and paintings all day developing bicycles and intercourse dolls out of lifeless little ones.

While the Ass Goblins turn into inebriated on cider made of fermented little ones, the twins plot their break out. however it won't be effortless. they have to triumph over rest room toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments which are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.

Forget every thing you recognize approximately're approximately to be Shit Slaughtered.

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Download E-books Jane Slayre PDF

By Sherri Browning Erwin

A undying story of love,  devotion . . . and the undead.
 Jane Slayre, our plucky demon-slaying heroine, a brave orphan who spurns the detestable vampyre kinfolk who raised her, units out at the recommendation of her ghostly uncle to hone her talents because the fearless slayer she's intended to be. whilst she takes a task as a governess at a rustic property, she falls head-over-heels for her new grasp, Mr. Rochester, in simple terms to find he is hiding a violent werewolf within the attic--in the shape of his first spouse. Can a menagerie of bloodthirsty, flesh-eating, savage creatures-of-the-night maintain a swashbuckling nineteenth-century woman from the gentleman she intends to marry? Vampyres, zombies, and werewolves rework Charlotte Brontë's unforgettable masterpiece into an eerie paranormal event that might satisfaction and terrify.
*Featuring a Gallery Books Readers advisor

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Download E-books Haunted: A Novel of Stories PDF

By Chuck Palahniuk

Haunted through Chuck Palahniuk is a unique made from tales: Twenty-three of them, to be distinct. Twenty-three of the main scary, hilarious, impressive, stomach-churning stories you’ll ever encounter—sometimes without warning. they're advised by means of those that have spoke back an advert headlined “Writers’ Retreat: Abandon Your existence for 3 Months,” and who're ended in think that right here they are going to go away at the back of the entire distractions of “real life” which are retaining them from growing the masterpiece that's in them. yet “here” seems to be a cavernous and ornate previous theater the place they're completely remoted from the surface world—and the place warmth and tool and, most vital, nutrition are in more and more brief offer. And the extra determined the situations turn into, the extra severe the tales they tell—and the extra devious their machinations turn into to make themselves the hero of the inevitable play/movie/nonfiction blockbuster that may without doubt be made up of their plight.

Haunted is on one point a satire of truth television—The actual World meets Alive. It attracts from an outstanding literary tradition—The Canterbury Tales, The Decameron, the English storytellers within the Villa Diodati who produced, between different works, Frankenstein—to inform an totally modern story of individuals determined that their tale be informed at any expense. Appallingly wonderful, Haunted is Chuck Palahniuk at his finest—which potential his so much severe and his so much provocative.

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